You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
