Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
