dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
