Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
