Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
