I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
