I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
