he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
