at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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