You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
