I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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