PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
