Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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