I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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