Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
