This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
