I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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