Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
