are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
