Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Text me some of your sweat
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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