Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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