Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
