Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
where am i from again
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
