New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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