She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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