sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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