if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
So. Much. Porn.
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