I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
