I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
