I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
