You're a womanizer and a bitch.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
