good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
