I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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