she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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