that's an acceptable place to lick
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
