im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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