i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Randomize
