i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
