I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
