Pants 0. Shit 1.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
