TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
