Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
