All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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