spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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