Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
