dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
