'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
