you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
