He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
