Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
